Tag: Fear

The Better Question: Who is God?

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I have had a lot of reasons recently to ask, “Why, God?” And certainly, God has given me voice for that very question, especially in the Psalms. But, my stability and comfort have ultimately come from meditating more purposefully on “Who is God?” Especially when I recall Who God has shown up to be to me personally. He provided a gifted ER doctor for my husband, an outstanding hospitalist, an angelic home health nurse at just the right time, and “light rays” in the middle of the tunnel through various others during a recent health emergency.

I am lately reminded that my “to do” list leaves me depleted because my own weakness is overshadowed by a failure to contemplate “Who?” I would like to be the fixer, but I am woefully not. I would like to have answers to medication questions, but I have no clue. I would like to not worry or feel anxious, but I do. Yet, even in those incompetences of humanity, I trust God in Whom are all the fixes and answers and rest, ultimate and earthly. I trust in Him.

Even in the unexplainable circumstances of life, it is still true that Holy, Almighty God has a perfect plan that somehow includes me. Isaiah 46:9-10 says, “Remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like Me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish my purpose.’ “

“Who is God?” should be my “to do” list. He provided a sense of calm as an emergency unfolded. He gave courage to an anxious wife (me) in the protocols of intravenous medication administration. He sent help at the ninth minute. Her name was Erin. And God has since provided many other mercies, both supernatural and natural.

God has called my attention to the fragility of life and my greater need for Him and His mercy. In seeking a new normal, He has directed us carefully. Sooner than later, we face needs for new housing, less responsibility, and modifications in all the activities of daily living. “Who is God in this?” Psalm 145:17-19 says, “The Lord is righteous in all His ways and kind in all His works. The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth. He fulfills the desire of those who fear Him, He also hears their cry and saves them.”

God invites us to question “Why?” but not to get cemented there. He is faithful to take the “why” out of our wrestling prayers by supplying a greater answer to “Who He is” in the tension of waiting and not knowing, suffering and not seeing an end, knowing that this very-fallen side of Heaven feels like it will last forever, but it won’t. A better question, a better landing. “Who is God?”

Afraid Yet Filled With Joy

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There is a strange juxtaposition whereby, at the same time, while fear and doubt are trying to capture my heart, the Holy Spirit is pulsing reminders of joy. Joy in my identity as a secure child of God. Joy over my filling with the Hope found in Jesus. Joy in the understanding of God’s great love. And joy in the permanence of God’s Kingdom and Christ’s righteousness in my life.

I love this quote by Elisabeth Elliot: “Courage is not the absence of fear but the willingness to do the thing we fear. Go straight into the furnace or the lion’s den. Were those men out of touch with their feelings or with reality? No! Nor was the psalmist who said, ‘When I am afraid, I will trust.’ There’s a big difference between feeling and willing.”

Matthew 28:8 says, “So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell His disciples.” Just as the women at Jesus’s tomb were focused on their devoted love of Christ and their intent on bringing burial spices for His body, an amazing intervention by an angel caused them a mixture of fear and joy in an instant. The angel revealed the very thing they had hoped for – Jesus was not there, He had risen from the dead! They saw proof of His resurrection. But, in that same moment, the emotions of surprise, trepidation, and fright flooded in.

In all the moments of life, I am relieved that I can experience both fear and joy at the same time. Much like the example of childbirth, there is the mishmash of simultaneous thoughts – “I can’t possibly do this thing,” …”give me drugs,”… “I really really can’t wait to meet this little one,”… “one more push,”… “there will be joy in the morning, right?”

That similar mixture of fear and joy is the juxtaposition in the mind and heart of every believer. We see the proliferation of evil and brokenness and many fearful things in our world. All very unsettling and disturbing. We are certainly not out of touch with our feelings or reality. Yet, we know God’s promises in His Word that these things must occur and even greatly increase. These things signal the nearness of Jesus’s 2nd coming, a cause for great joy! So, I pray that God will help us all to manage our “fear and joy” moments so that we will continue to do just what the angel commanded the women at the tomb to “…go quickly and tell His disciples; ‘He has risen’…” (Matt. 28:7).

Matthew 28:9-10 says, “Suddenly [on their way] Jesus met them [the women who had been at the tomb]. ‘Greetings,’ He said. They came to Him, clasped His feet and worshipped Him. Then Jesus said to them, ‘Do not be afraid. Go and tell My brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see Me.’ ” These women were not out of touch with their feelings or reality. These women had stepped out in courage and were willing to obey both the angel at the tomb and Jesus on the way.

In the face of fear, another favorite verse I like is 2 Chronicles 20:12b: “…We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on You.” God is always faithful to deliver what is needed when we are both afraid and filled with joy. Take courage in these frequent moments.

The Goodness of the Lord

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I love the Paul Tripp quote about the goodness of the Lord: “The goodness of the Lord frees you from being imprisoned by past regret, paralyzed by present doubt, and crippled by future fear.”

Psalm 119:65-72 says, “Do good to your servant according to your Word, Lord. Teach me knowledge and good judgment, for I trust Your commands. Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey Your Word. You are good, and what You do is good; teach me Your decrees. Though the arrogant have smeared me with lies, I keep Your precepts with all my heart. Their hearts are callous and unfeeling, but I delight in Your law. It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn Your decrees. The law from Your mouth is more precious to me than thousands of pieces of silver and gold.”

When I think about these words from scripture, I am reminded of all the things that comprise God’s goodness. God the Creator is to be admired, but more importantly worshipped, because He is superior in all and over all. His qualities are beyond positive. They are otherworldly – He is immutable, infinite, impartial, omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient. In these qualities and more, I am assured that God is the embodiment of perfect goodness. He is kind, benevolent, and full of good will toward all creation. He is virtuous and righteous. Morally excellent. I must ponder the past, present, and future in light of His Word.

The key is – “in light of His Word.” I must know it. I must read it. I must meditate upon it. I must study it carefully. It must become a part of me. In Christ, I can know Truth through His Word. It sets me free, body, mind, and soul – from imprisonment, paralysis, and fear. Past, present, future.

God did this for me. My past is fully forgiven because of the accomplishment of Jesus Christ in conquering death delivered to Him upon Calvary’s Cross. Although enemies meant His death to be permanent, Christ rose victorious and paid the price for me that I owed for my own sin. Why then would I cling to past mistakes and regrettable choices if this salvation victory has been sealed for me by the Good God of the Universe? Yes, I stray away from trusting God when I look away from His Word. This happens especially when things are going well and I appear to have a grip on my life. Afflicted with worries, what-ifs, frantic paces, perfectionistic burdens. This happens. But, God has erased my regrets through Jesus Christ. God did this for me.

God does this for me. When my present is crowded with pressures and pulls, when my daily existence shouts that 24 hours is not enough, and when my calendar is jumbled with activity upon activity, God invites me to spend time with Him before facing even another minute. His presence brings peace and calm, clear thoughts, gratitude, and faith that casts out doubt. His Word enables me to filter out lies and plots. His Spirit whispers life-giving truths that sustain me in the present. God does this for me.

God promises this to me. A future marked by hope. A future not built upon fear. A future that creates in me (now) an attitude of expectant preparedness. A delight in His Word. A willingness to be identified with Christ in the sufferings of the past and present, with the weight of His glory out in front of me. Alignment with His will and not my own. A day when all tears will be wiped away. A day when Christ will return and make all things new. A day when God’s goodness will totally triumph. A day when the enjoyment of the Lord will last forever and life will be lived in light of His majesty and glory. The real meaning of freedom. God promises this to me.

Psalm 119:48-50 says, “I reach out for Your commands, which I love, that I may meditate on Your decrees. Remember Your word to your servant, for You have given me hope. My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.” Therefore, I trust that God’s goodness completely enfolds me now and forever, and I will not be imprisoned by regret, paralyzed by doubt, or crippled by fear.