David Powlison expressed in his devotional book TAKE HEART, “Being indifferent, or opinionated, or avoidant, or preoccupied comes easy. But it is a bit of holiness when I am happy to see someone, when I ask a question and mean it, when I listen attentively, when I genuinely affirm, when I push back candidly and constructively.”
I am reminded of all the times I have been looking at my phone in a room full of loved ones, present but not really. I think of all the times I am trying to multi-task, get something done, and trying to listen, but not. Lots of half-hearted attempts at true connection swirl around me. Should it be so easy to evade true and meaningful conversation?
Talk is truly cheap unless I am really listening as well as sharing myself. Proximity doesn’t have anything to do with it. I can be sitting beside you and not registering anything that is on your heart. To really know someone is to really love someone.
Hebrews 10:24 says, “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works.” And Proverbs is full of descriptions of kindness and unselfishness in conversation. Proverbs 10:11a says, “The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life;” 10:32a “The lips of the righteous know what is fitting;” 11:25b “He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed;” 12:25 “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.”
It takes a bit of holiness to care, to pray for you in your moment of need, to truly listen to you when you need a friend, to seek to understand what you are going through…
To set my own interests aside to make space for your interests,
To try to walk in your shoes,
To make time to discover what's important to you,
To see how God will connect our hearts through Christ,
To speak the truth in love and in a peaceful tone,
To care about your soul...
It takes a bit of holiness.
Relationship takes work and investment. It's never convenient, but very often produces joy. Even more so, the holiness of Christ can be reflected in our words to one another. The holiness of Christ, Who willingly went to the Cross and conquered sin and death for believers so that we could enjoy a restored relationship with Him. The holiness of Christ Who listens, affirms, and pushes back constructively. The holiness of Christ Who knows exactly what it is like to walk in my shoes and in your shoes. The holiness of Christ Who knows what is important to us. The holiness of Christ Who invites us into conversation that can never be superficial. The holiness of Christ Who is the One Who truly cares.
Lord, please teach me to ask good questions with interest, listen for every detail, offer heartfelt encouragement, and disagree constructively when necessary. Cure me of my preoccupations and self-absorption. Make me a conduit for a "bit of Your holiness." Amen.
psalm37fretnot 